LAIFEE LA LAIFEE .

So its been a year since I've updated my blog. So many things have changed. Some for the better.. and the rest better not be told. So now im here, updating my blog. Even forgetting the password of my account. who reminded me of the existence of my blogg? the one and only, of couse, SURAJ . haha! just because he likes seeing his pictures on my blog. He still does play an important role in my life. Being my best friend even after everything that happened between us. Not that we were together or anything. But between the both of us, we know. So he has a girlfriend there, and im happy for him. :) it has been 4 wonderful years knowing this ass of a guy who never seize to make me more tension and happy at the same time. and I thank the lord for bringing such a person into my life :)

Time has passed so many freaking thingss has changed. New friends. Some old friends missing. Some old enemies became a friend. and all that shit just going around. the only thing you can do, is HOPE. because hope is the second most powerful thing beside fear. Because at some point of your life the only thing you can do, is hope. thats it. hope comes in all ways, all meanings, everything that could define happiness comes from hoping. HOPING FOR THE BEST, HOPING FOR A HAPPY ENDING, HOPING THINGS WOULD WORK OUT. all goes out to being happy in the end. using hope with a bad intention, is not something to be proud or, nor you should talk about it. because yeah, KARMA's a bitch. now now, why is it a bitch but not a bastard? because thats LIFE . when youre a girl, everything you do, could possibly turn out to you being labelled a bitch, and trust me, PEOPLE DO NOT FORGET ONCE YOURE CALLED A BITCH . unless you do something to prove them wrong :)whereas if youre a guy, and you banging every girl in a freaking club, you'd only be called a bastard for a day or two. no harm done. life. 

Here I am, playing my hair, blur, sitting on my bed and thinking wtff am i writing on my blog. part of life huh? so shit really does happen in life. like when youre existence is not acknowledged  by someone. When you try so hard to make a conversation but the person doesnt appreciate it. When you try to look your best, yet there's someone who would say the opposite. When you have hurt so bad, and people talk like they know everything but they freaking dont. When you try to hide your feelings coz youre afraid they're gonna slap you in the ass. whats the only thing you could do? think about all these shit and write it in your blog? HAHAH well thats pretty much what im doing. 

I havent written things like this in so long. been crying out all the pain without really letting things go. now, writing seems to be the perfect thing to do. when everything has accumulated that you just wanna sit alone and write about things. right now, I have so much, SO MUCH in me that i dont even know which one of those things am i supposed to write about. and now suraj said that he used to like going through my blog and reading all these things i call 'nonsense' haha. life is like a butterfly? HAHA at least thats what i thought. how much can you chill and keep taking the shit thrown at you in life? im only seventeen. i know. but ive gone through shit people never even thought of in life. 

i dont need to prove anything to anyone. because i know the people around me knows me best. thanks to all those who have made me a fool, who have stabbed me in the back, to those who advice me, scold me, and to those who has hurt me, cheers and i hope you will u would have a good life. thanks for the experience and making me a wiser person. and to life, i would be here. still taking the shit you throw at me and flushing it down the toilet somehow. :) 

time.

soon enough im gonna get tired of getting through shit like this, im gonna go. to get peace.

feelings

im just another girl. with so many feelings flooding around everywhere.

yeah i get obsessed. when you keep on not showing me any kind of feelings, i get with other guys. i wish i could tell you how i really feel. but i cant, because i know it wouldnt make a difference. tolerate you, oh how much i did. sorry im one bitchy bitch. :) 




i know me getting with you is something that wont happen. you're already tired of me. but still here it is, me writing about you. tc.

my moments ;)

im not that perfect girl. i have my cons. im not thin, my legs got scrathes, my hair doesnt fall perfectly, im not tall, i have a horrible past. im not the girl every guy dream for. but im happy with who and what i am. :)

karma's getting my back. all i gotta do now is be strong. 

because i do regret my past :)

How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours.  ~Wayne Dyer


My actions are my only true belongings.  I cannot escape the consequences of my actions.  My actions are the ground upon which I stand.  ~Thich Nhat Hanh


According to the karma of past actions, one's destiny unfolds, even though everyone wants to be so lucky.  ~Sri Guru Granth Sahib


Worthless people blame their karma.  ~Burmese Proverb


As she has planted, so does she harvest; such is the field of karma.  ~Sri Guru Granth Sahib


Men are not punished for their sins, but by them.  ~Elbert Hubbard


Thoughts lead on to purposes; purposes go forth in action; actions form habits; habits decide character; and character fixes our destiny.  ~Tryon Edwards


There are the waves and there is the wind, seen and unseen forces.  Everyone has these same elements in their lives, the seen and unseen, karma and free will.  ~Kuan Yin


Whatever we do lays a seed in our deepest consciousness, and one day that seed will grow.  ~Sakyong Mipham


Like gravity, karma is so basic we often don't even notice it.  ~Sakyong Mipham


Before you begin on the journey of revenge, dig two graves.  ~Proverb


O youth or young man, who fancy that you are neglected by the gods, know that if you become worse, you shall go to worse souls, or if better to the better…  In every succession of life and death, you will do and suffer what like may fitly suffer at the hands of like.  This is the justice of heaven.  ~Plato


Our deeds determine us as much as we determine our deeds.  ~George Eliot



There is a destiny that makes us brothers: none goes his way alone,
All that we send into the lives of others comes back into our own.
~Edwin Markham




Sin makes its own hell, and goodness its own heaven.  ~Mary Baker Eddy




Thus the whirligig of time brings in his revenges.  ~William Shakespeare




Every action of our lives touches on some chord that will vibrate in eternity.  ~Edwin Hubbel Chapin



Belief in karma ought to make the life pure, strong, serene, and glad.  Only our own deeds can hinder us; only our own will can fetter us.  Once let men recognize this truth, and the hour of their liberation has struck.  Nature cannot enslave the soul that by wisdom has gained power and uses both in love.  ~Annie Besant




My karma ran over your dogma.  ~Author Unknown




As the blazing fire reduces wood to ashes, similarly, the fire of Self-knowledge reduces all Karma to ashes.  ~Bhagavad Gita




Those who were pre-ordained to have no good karma at all - gazing into the lamp of emotional attachment, they are burnt, like moths in a flame.  ~Sri Guru Granth Sahib




If a householder moulds himself according to the circumstances just like nature moulds Herself according to seasons and performs his Karma then only shall he acquire happiness.  ~Rig Veda




Without the karma of good deeds, they are only destroying themselves.  ~Sri Guru Granth Sahib




Whoso diggeth a pit shall fall therein.  ~Proverb

karma? yeah that b*tch .

1996 - 2012

it's gonna be 2012 soon. im gonna be 16. some things have gotta stop, but some things have gotta move on. im moving on from updating my blog all about sunshine. he's gonna always be here. but as he said, what we have is never gonna happen again. this year, alot of things happen. i learnt alot from alot of numerous people. i didnt do quite well for my PMR, and i know i didnt try my hardest. i could have done better. but whats the COULD gonna do now? i cant change anything. i think right now, that works as an eye opener. for me to actually start studying properly. i dont wanna see my parents hurt, i dont wanna be dissapointed of myself again.

2012, new year. people say the worlds gonna end, well, if it does, it does. if it doesnt, it doesnt. life just continues. the world is changing. generations are passing. everything goes on whether we know it or not. somethings in the human minds have gotta change. there should be no more racism, no more crime, no more things that would make this life a very hectic. people should know, the world revolves around humans, we make what we live in. im gonna be 16, and i think im pretty matured for my age. but some people might be thinking vice versa. but really, do i look like i care?

what i was, is someone different. who i was, is someone i dont wanna know anymore. what i am now, im proud. who i am now, im happy :) people still talk, i know. but again, humans nature. it's either caused by jealousy or simple hatred. im not loved by everyone, but im pretty sure im not hated by everyone. there are those people who loves me for who i am now :) but again, there are people who hardly even know me and they hate my guts. why? i dont really know myself.

i miss writing this things. i miss my drawings. i have gotta start again. haha. im not the prettiest nor i am the smartest. im not the most matured, nor i am the most childish. im just a simple girl who wants things to fall into place perfectly. of course, if things fall perfectly, it aint life anymore. but whatever it is, there's always hope for everything.

right now, im loving my life. so very much. wish me luck for 2012. 

im gonna be a better person. that im sure of. 

happy new year :)  

past.

sunshine, i really do miss you. 




i know what i did was wrong but i really do miss you.


looking back at all my blog post and all the pictures i got of you, really brings back memory. as what you say, youre not trash :( 


i love you but im sorry and i miss you. i hope one day ill get you back :( suraj. haih!

stupid people die .

stupid people die .

this is the story where stupid people dies . they die because of their stupidness . i know i had said this when i was angry with something . oh yeah , i was watching something on tv . haha . my blog hasn't really been interesting lately . i feel i have nothing much to talk about . but alot has happened . too many things happened . some good and some bad . but thats part of life kan .? i lost but i gained . its vice versa . there were tears and there were smiles . so many things i wonder about , some things that can never be answered till time comes but still i wanna know . i wanna know , who are my real frens.? will people remember me if something happens.? and so many things la . 

im happy now with the way some things are . but i always expect more . and more it shall be . 

mwaaaaaaaaaah .